Let's Go To Breakfast

I've had this blog prepared for a while now (by prepared, I mean saved with the title only and adding to it as I had time) but I couldn't decide if I really wanted to do this or not. I didn't know where to start or even what I would say. So I will start at the beginning...it's gonna be long! Get ready! Sorry, I don't have any pictures in this one...

I met Juan in 1998 but we didn't actually go on a "date" until like March of 99. He told me to call him when I got off work, it was after midnight. I know that when I lived with my parents, I wasn't allowed to even be on the phone past 9pm, let alone get a call after that so I was a little worried. He told me not to worry about it but already talking with him about how much he got in trouble with his mom, I was freakin scared! But I REALLY liked him and so I called. Here's how the conversation went:

Sylvia: Hello

Me: Is Juan there?

Sylvia: Um, who's this?

Me: Jennifer

Sylvia: Sure. Lemme get him...JUAAAAAAAAAN!!

Ok, that wasn't so bad. It was like 12:30 and he was gonna come to my house and watch a movie with me. So he told me to come and pick him up. Did I really think I was gonna get away with just driving up and not going in? Yeah I did but I didn't get away with it...I had to go in a MEET HIS PARENTS!!! AHHHH! Um, ok, I can do this. So he brings me in the house and are they in the living room or kitchen watching TV? NO WAY!! They are in bed for cryin out loud! All I could think of is "Are you really taking me into their room?!" I can't do that. I can't even go into my parent's room when they aren't sleeping...I was so nervous that I don't even remember how that one went. I just remember them in bed all covered up and watching tv. Sylvia talked to me more than Joe did.

A few months down the road, Juan and I were pretty close and I would go over to his house after work. I had met his sisters (they loved me!) and a few of his family members and some friends. On these trips to his house after work I would end up "falling asleep" and not leaving until the morning. Juan's dad told him that he couldn't have me staying the night because he was making a bad impression on his sisters. One morning after I had been told not to stay there, Juan and I woke up to a pound on the door. "JUAN!!!" Bang, bang, bang! "JUAN!! Open this door!" It was locked, of course, and I won't tell you whether we had clothes on or not...

Anyway, this tiny lady comes in and says, "I need to talk to you two. Sit down on the bed."

Uh oh, I'm in trouble now, I thought.

So she starts with the question, "What are you guys gonna do if you get pregnant?"

Juan and I both looked at each other with this 'did she just ask that' look.

"Huh?" I said.

After she repeated herself, I answered, "Well then we will have a baby."

Then she starts talking about how if we did, she would be the youngest grandma at Cellular 1.

"Ok, let's go to breakfast." She told us.

If that wasn't the weirdest conversation I EVER had with Sylvia, I don't know what was. We went to Kiss the Cook for breakfast. It was pretty good. I had never been there before.

Then it was time for Michelle's quince. I was the BIGGEST tom-boy there was and Sylvia was gonna make me wear a dress and get my nails done..."get my nails done?" What the hell does that mean? So over the course of a few weeks, she took me to this lady's house where she measured me and hand made a dress for me to wear. It was gold with a black lace top. I couldn't believe I had to wear a dress...

I can't remember if it was the day before or a few days before but I went to this place to "get my nails done." It was on 67th Ave and Thomas. I was getting ready to spend my last $20 on my nails. I wondered, what was I gonna do for groceries or gas for the next week? Oh well, I really wanted to make this woman like me. (Not knowing that she already did) And my parents would probably help me. So I walk up to the curb and I find a roll of money on the ground in the gutter. Holy crap! Are you kidding me?! I put it in my pocket and went about my business. You see, right next to this nail place is a bar notorious for it's drug deals... It was $470 rolled up. I guess I didn't have to worry about groceries or gas huh! AND I had my nails done all purty. Now I had to figure out how I was going to machine rotors or take car parts apart for customers at work with these things on...I was on my own with that one. Let's just say they didn't last too long.

Then the quince came. Juan told me his family would be there. I had NO idea what "family" meant until I met his family. This hall was packed floor to ceiling, wall to wall with mexicans. Ok I'm exaggerating but you get the point. I was prolly the only white girl there. Let me tell you, Sylvia knew how uncomfortable I was and not because I said anything about it. It was because she just knew. She asked me to help her in the kitchen and so I did for a little while. It made me feel better. She always made me feel welcome even if I ever wasn't. Over the next few years, I would grow to love all those people as my family too! They are sometimes even closer to me than my own family.

So as the next few years came and went, there were lots of troubles between Juan and I. Everytime, I would talk with Sylvia and she NEVER once told me it was all my fault or took Juan's side. That would be traditionally expected because that is her son and I am just an import. But, NOPE, Sylvia always listened to me, always made sure she understood both sides and then would say every time...without fail..."It's both of you. You want it to work, you both have to change." Every time.

And it helped that even when Juan and I were split up for some reason, his sisters would always invite me over anyway. Juan told me once just after I had met the family that once I was in, there was no getting out. I witnessed this first hand with Elsa and Mario. When they called it quits, we ended up going to Elsa's wedding to some other man. Proof positive.

Juan and I had children in the midst of all this stuff. One biologically and one adopted. Tallynna came into our lives on November 5, 2001. She was 13 months old. Joe and Sylvia LOVED her from first sight. And they accepted her like she was their granddaughter too! Over the years, I have seen this be the case for them with a few kids that aren't "blood." I think it's awesome and it takes a good person to do this. I remember a conversation I had with Sylvia around the time that CPS and the courts were deciding whether it was in Tallynna's best interest to live with me and Juan or send her to someone else's home. They asked me what other family she had and who else might me interested in taking care of her. I had talked with Sylvia about this before the appointment and she said to me, "Joe and I love her and if there is no other way to keep her in the family, we will take her." All I could think was WOW.

When Brianna was born, where was Sylvia? She was right there with my mom, holding my leg up so I could push that big ol' baby out. She was a little short for the height of the bed but let me tell you, I wouldn't want anyone else holding my legs up than my mom and my "mother" as I called her. Brianna was a big baby and Sylvia and Juan both said when she was born, "It's a girl! That's a girl?" She was just that big.

Every year, I wouldn't have to worry about buying them an Easter outfit or a Christmas dress cause she would make sure she got them for all the kids as the kid population grew.

Juanito was born and once again, there is Sylvia holding my leg up with my mom on the other side. When it was said, "It's a boy!" I think I am glad I still had the epidural cause she dropped my leg and ran out of the room to tell everyone. Actually, she yelled it at everyone! Now, just think, could she have had that reaction if we knew what we were having? Now you know why we don't find out...

Sylvia came to work at Cox not too long after Juanito was born. Everyone loved her. Are you surprised? HAHA!

About a year after she started working at Cox, we were both there and I got a call from Scott (the manager for her department at the time).

Scott: Hey Jen, you need to get to my office right away. Sylvia passed out and we called the paramedics.

Me: Ok, I'm on my way.

I got there just as the paramedics were getting there and they took her blood pressure, it was 201/190something. YIKES! That was all I could think of. "My gosh that could cause a stroke." She told me the room was spinning, she couldn't even tell them her information. Luckily I was there. We sat there for a little while and they checked her blood pressure again and it was still very high. So they took her out in the ambulance to John C Lincoln. I called Joe and Juan to tell them what was going on and that I would be there with her. I remember hearing that she had told her boss not to let them take off her pants because she hadn't shaved...LOL! After all the paramedics that worked that shift close to work were hotties! The later shift, we found out later on in this whole ordeal, were older and not so cute...

So this happened a few more times over the following months. She was diagnosed with Vertigo and was given medication for it that didn't work. So finally, I told her she needed to see a neurologist. I found one for her and went with her to the 1st appointment. He said she had Migraines. He explained why her blood pressure would raise up so high and all that. We trusted that. So he gave her some medication for that and it seemed to work for about a few days. Then back to the hospital we went. The doctor said it may take a while for the medication to kick in so she would still have the issue until it finally settled. It seemed pointless for her to even go to the ER because anytime she would say she has been diagnosed with Migraines, that was it. They didn't check for anything else. I repeatedly told her that I didn't think it was Migraines and that it was something in her head. Like a clot or aneurism or something like that. She agreed but how could she find it? She had 4 or 5 MRIs already and they found nothing.

On Saturdays that she was able to be at work, she would take me to lunch. She always told me that she felt bad because she does all these things for Michelle and Nichole and not a lot for me. It was as though I was her daughter too. It was nice to know that she felt that way about me. We would have the best talks on those Saturdays. It was just us. She had convinced me to even take Juan back after his last round of trouble and not because she wanted me to just take him back but because it was in his best interest and of course, she was right. He was headed down the wrong path because he was getting depressed. Plus I married him with the full intention to live up to the vows I took. I loved him then just as I do now.

Sylvia was always there for me and I was always there for her. I'm glad I got to know her as well as I did and I am happy that she raised Juan to be the great man he is. I miss her. I think about her every day and I just hope that I can have the impact on other peoples' lives that she did. I also pray that I can leave my life with all ends tied up the way she did too.

It's Mother's Day 2010 now and this blog has sat here LONG enough. It turned out to be some of my favorite memories of Sylvia...I have A LOT! What better day to post about my mother-in-law? I love you Sylvia!

Bitching

I'm in a really bad mood this morning so if you aren't interested in me complaining (something I don't do often), close out of this post...

I haven't blogged in a while. I have started a few but never finished because of all the crap that has been happening. Maybe that's the story of my life, I start things and don't finish. I say one thing and do something else.

In August, I asked my alcoholic husband to leave because he came home again at 4am drunk. This was the day before our son's 2nd birthday party. I have always been a trusting person and have always trusted that he isn't cheating on me. To this day, I still don't think he has cheated on me. I do know that he has had some conversations on text message with people he shouldn't be talking to and as soon as I found out about those and asked him to stop he did to my knowledge.

He moved back home a month later after many different conversations about what he's going to do to be better, how it's gonna always be the same cycle no matter what he says or does, and how our marriage is most important and the vows we took mean so much more now than when we said them. While he was gone, not only was he staying with the friend that he always went out drinking with but he began drinking just about every night. I saw him start falling into this bit of depression where he would just work and then go drink. He wouldn't call or come see the kids very often and that put me in a tough spot to try and explain why he wasn't coming around. It is also very hard to try and take care of 3 kids with one on the way, work, make dinner, check homework, etc. I never said anything negative about their dad. They were very happy when he came back home and so was I.

I let him come back for a few reasons: He is better off at home where alcohol is not within his reach everywhere, the kids need their dad, and most importantly this is not the way marriage is supposed to be. For better or worse doesn't mean the better or worse that I choose. It is whatever life hands to us. He was an alcoholic before I married him; he'll be one forever.

Things have been going well since he came back in late September. He's been fairly helpful, happy, not going out.

Fast forward to today...1/09/10...Yes I started this post a long time ago. My mother in law passed away a few weeks ago (something for another post I'm working on) and he hasn't been the same. Do I expect him to be the same? NO WAY! But he's not the only person alive right now and he sure is acting like he is. He's been sensitive, mean, unplugged from everyone, and drunk quite a bit. Anywho, yesterday when he got home from work, I was on the phone with my parents and he said hi and a few other things to me that I prolly didn't respond to and then he went in the room and went to bed. It was 6:30pm. It was the first night that we weren't praying the Rosary at his aunt's house. It was the first night in about 2 weeks that I had cooked dinner. I was hoping to at least make an attempt to get back to a little bit normal. It was Friday night. It was supposed to be family night and I just got a movie from one of my employees to watch. I was in a good mood. I went into the room when dinner was ready and asked if he wanted to eat and he said no. I was hurt. It hurt.

I know he doesn't like it when I am on the phone with my parents or anyone for that matter when he gets home from work. I needed to ask them a question and I would never act like that when it would come to him on the phone with his parents or ANYONE else. God knows he talks to everyone else and not me. Just check his text messages...I digress...

So the kids and I ate dinner and watched our movie. I still felt horrible. I am the type of person to always figure out how everything is my fault. I am responsible for everything. It's my fault he drinks. It's my fault the house is a mess. It's my fault... So I start to feel like what the fuck? It's my parents. They won't be around long and I need to talk to them as much as I can before I can't anymore.

I had to work this morning and he didn't. But who was in there asleep? HIM! And he acts like I don't work all day long and have to get up early and stay up late and haven't been right next to him during all this stuff that's been happening. AND I'M PREGNANT! He doesn't give a shit.

I went to work this morning and didn't hear from him at all but when I texted him to see if he was awake at 11am, he was out and about. I told him he wasn't very nice last night and he went on to blame it on me and then say that I always do right and he always does wrong. This is what he does to make me feel bad so I apologized for being on the phone. I shouldn't have. It's my parents.

So last weekend he asked me if he could go to Rocky's house to "kick it" (like he's a fucking 20 year old with no responsibilities) he knows I will never tell him no but he asks anyway. We went to dinner at Michelle and Jrs and then he took off to Rocky's. He'll be drinking. Something even his own dad told him not to do 5 minutes before he left the house. Something his mom hated that he did. Something he watched fuck up his uncle's life and yet he doesn't care. He's selfish.

He told me the other day that I am so much stronger that I used to be but I see it as being weaker. I don't stand up to him and for what I believe. I care for him and need him so much that I don't argue with him so that he doesn't decide to leave me. I have tried to do this without him and can't. I was fine all by myself before I met him, why can't that be now?

I posted a song on Facebook the other day that I heard on the radio. I posted it for him. Did he respond or even mention that he saw it or heard it? NOPE. I got responses from the family.

I had someone give me a frame yesterday and I put Sylvia's memorial card in it for him for now so he can have it next to his grandmother's picture until he can get one he wants. He thanked me for it but it didn't seem like he even cared that I had done something for him.

Maybe these things are all expected. Maybe he's right that it will never be enough. If he quit drinking, would I truly be happy or would I just find something else to bitch about? I dunno.

So right now, he's out at Rocky's and I am guessing he will be home in the morning or tomorrow afternoon when he sobers up...how would he feel if I did that? I feel disrespected and unappreciated. I wish he could be home and that we were enough for him. I don't bother him while he's out. I don't text or call or ANYTHING!! Maybe I should. Maybe I should be a bitch and nag him all the time.

I don't know. I just don't know.

I am not one to give up and so I won't.

I can't help him.

Will he ever see how much he means to me? Will he ever know how much this one thing alone hurts? I'm not counting on it. So I will continue to allow him to disrespect me and treat me like I am just his wife. I should prolly be in the kitchen cooking something or cleaning something.

This thing went all over the place but it made me feel a little better.

Trying...

I am trying to post a blog about the park trip we took last week but the 2 minute video I want to add to it is taking forever!! I even left the computer on over night with the page open and it wasn't loaded....

Any suggestions?

Another Birthday Party!

Today, we celebrated my 8 year old's birthday with a Camp Rock party. We didn't have anything that was Camp Rock except for the top to the cupcake stand my parents made. She had a good time...

The family showed up. Here is her daddy and her cousin Matthew looking a little tough. Maybe they really were doing security.

Her friends came! She was most excited about these little ladies coming out. She was so happy that she wanted them to spend the night. Too bad they have school tomorrow.

Her Nino Oscar and Tio Chris hanging out by the pool.

We had a nacho bar for the meal. Fernanda really liked the cheese even though the expression on her face says otherwise! LOL!

We did the cake before the gifts because one of Brianna's friends had to leave soon. 8 candles on 8 cupcakes. MAKE A WISH!!

This was the one she chose after she served everyone else.

And I smashed it in her face... She was totally caught off guard!

Present time! She got lots of clothes, money, and art stuff.

She even really read the cards!

Here are her Grandpa, Jamma, and daddy.

After she opened all her gifts, Daddy went to play in the baby's room. He said he was playing with our son but I don't see any kids, do you?

After everyone went home, all the food and stuff was put away, Juanito was pooped. He fell asleep on the couch.

We had a great day and lots of fun! Brianna felt extra special today, thanks to all her guests!

My Creative Children

We are preparing the house for Brianna's birthday party this weekend and I decided to clean out the boy's toy box and get rid of some of his toys. He just got a bunch of toys for his birthday and I need to make room for them all. I got the to box all cleaned out and when I said to him, "Ok monkey, let's put them back in!" He must have thought I told him to get in. He found some sunglasses in there and got in. He's adorable.

Then, Tallynna came to me and said, "Mom, can I use some of those little clips you use in your hair?" I gave her 2 bobby pins and this is what she came back with. I thought it was pretty cute and she did it on her own.

He's 2 today!!

Who woulda thunk it?!

Juanito is already 2! It seems like yesterday that I was bringing home my little yellow baby. (He had Jaundice) Here's his story:

He was due September 10, 2007. We were down to our last few appointments when the doctor said that I was slightly pre-ecclamptic (high blood pressure) and that we needed to schedule me to be induced. He was going to schedule me to have a bed at St. Joseph's Hospital on August 22nd. This is my daughter's birthday. He said that the hospital would call me in the early early morning to let me know they had a bed for me. So we left the office and awaited the call. It was August 22nd and no call. Around noon, still no call. So I called the hospital and they said I was 6th on the list and they have had no open beds all day so I would have to continue to wait. So around 5pm, I called them again and they said they still have me as #6. So I gave up for that day and decided that I would call my doctor in the morning if he didn't call me first. The next morning, my doctor called me and asked if I would mind going to Paradise Valley hospital. I needed to be induced and they had a bed so off we went. We left the house around 10am and headed down Bell Rd. At Paradise Valley Mall, there is an In N Out and Juan looks at me and says, "You mind if we stop?" I said it was fine. So we went through the drive through and they were closed but for some reason, they opened the window and let him order...we sat in the car again and ate. Well, he ate, I didn't.

We got to the hospital around 11am and Stacey went to pick up my mom and they actually beat us there. We got me all ready to go, IV, labor inducing drug, etc. And we waited...and waited...and waited. The rest of the family came and around 11:30pm, I was ready to push. Everyone was tired including me. But the doctor came in and went over all the tasks with the helpers and we started to work on getting the monkey out. I pushed for 20 minutes! I told Juan that I couldn't do it. He was reassuring and said I could. I cried cause it hurt. He was a lot bigger than Brianna. Then the last push and there he was! The doctor said, "It's a boy!" I thought Sylvia and Juan were gonna trip over each other getting out the door to tell the rest of the family. He was 8lbs 9ozs.

Now, he's about 35 lbs and at every doctor's appointment, he has measured in the 95-100th percentile. He's a BIG boy but he's my little man.

He's a momma's boy, loves the camera, loves his sisters and daddy. He's a brat too. He's adorable and beautiful hair. He loves to watch Yo Gabba Gabba and Wow Wow Wubbzy. When I walk in the door, he screams, "mom mom!!" He is the cutest thing and I love him to death!

Juanito's 2nd Birthday Party

My little monkey turned 2 today! Here is a recap of the day before the party and the day of the party.

Michelle and I were gluing the party hats together and the glue clogged up in the tip. Michelle messed with the bottle for quite some time and then I told her to give it to me. She did and so I squeezed it harder than she was not knowing that the top would come off and plop onto the folder I had there. Michelle, Junior and I busted up laughing! So, what did we do with the glue? Instead of being adults and trying to get it back into the bottle or using it off the folder, I took some and covered my hands in it and let it dry so I could "tear off my skin" like I used to do in grade school. Junior did the same on the folder. It was fun!

It happened to be my daughter's birthday the day before and our tradition is to take the birthday person out to the dinner they want. Brianna chose Chuck E. Cheese. So, I put Juanito down for the night and took my niece and nephew and my girls to Chuck E. Cheese. I couldn't resist buying these cups with the CEC mouth on them. They looked hilarious with them on. This is Alayna with hers.

Here is Tallynna with hers. I think it fits her chunky face.

This is Brianna and Diego with theirs. They had a blast with them.

So, back home now and I decided to take some pictures of the "Monkey Chow" baggies I made for the goodie bags.

These are the finished goodie bags which I apparently forgot to load up completely...

Party Hats!

My silly sister-in-law. I love her.

My son decided to be a little boy and play in the dirt while he was waiting for his party to start. This one is him saying, "Cheeeeeeeeezzzzeee!!"

I'm surprised he wasn't eating the dirt. Sometimes you gotta let them play and get dirty, ya know?

Now, the party has started. This is the t-shirt I made for him. Next time, I will buy a more expensive iron on package. This one transferred in a plastic material and just didn't work with a "wife beater."

It was time to open his gifts. The first gift he opened, everyone screamed, "YAAAAY!" He ate that up. So every time he opened something, he held it up so that everyone could yell YAY! He just loved seeing everyone's reaction. His nina kept the momentum going when it started to die down.

One more picture of his many times of holding his gifts up in the air. I have this in a 10 second video and will post that as soon as I get it loaded onto my computer.

Then it was cake time. My mom makes the greatest tasting and cutest cakes EVER!! She always has. So she made a cake and flavored it banana, which was a hit with the kids. My dad crafted up this cool cupcake stand out of PVC pipe and cardboard. It was awesome!

This was the birthday boy's cake. He didn't actually eat it but mom would not make a birthday cake unless she can write "Happy Birthday" on it.

Tio Junior set him all up with his party hat, banana wrapped in his arm, and candles lit. We were singing "Happy Birthday" and he wanted to blow out the candles already. Junior had to cover his mouth so that he didn't blow them out early.

He made his wish!!

Here he is, enjoying his cupcake!

After presents, cake, and a few chips, this is where he settled. On the couch with his new toy. He LOVES this thing and he plays with it all the time!

Thank you to all who came out and swam and ate! Without you all, my little monkey wouldn't have had such a fun day!!