I met Juan in 1998 but we didn't actually go on a "date" until like March of 99. He told me to call him when I got off work, it was after midnight. I know that when I lived with my parents, I wasn't allowed to even be on the phone past 9pm, let alone get a call after that so I was a little worried. He told me not to worry about it but already talking with him about how much he got in trouble with his mom, I was freakin scared! But I REALLY liked him and so I called. Here's how the conversation went:
Sylvia: Hello
Me: Is Juan there?
Sylvia: Um, who's this?
Me: Jennifer
Sylvia: Sure. Lemme get him...JUAAAAAAAAAN!!
Ok, that wasn't so bad. It was like 12:30 and he was gonna come to my house and watch a movie with me. So he told me to come and pick him up. Did I really think I was gonna get away with just driving up and not going in? Yeah I did but I didn't get away with it...I had to go in a MEET HIS PARENTS!!! AHHHH! Um, ok, I can do this. So he brings me in the house and are they in the living room or kitchen watching TV? NO WAY!! They are in bed for cryin out loud! All I could think of is "Are you really taking me into their room?!" I can't do that. I can't even go into my parent's room when they aren't sleeping...I was so nervous that I don't even remember how that one went. I just remember them in bed all covered up and watching tv. Sylvia talked to me more than Joe did.
A few months down the road, Juan and I were pretty close and I would go over to his house after work. I had met his sisters (they loved me!) and a few of his family members and some friends. On these trips to his house after work I would end up "falling asleep" and not leaving until the morning. Juan's dad told him that he couldn't have me staying the night because he was making a bad impression on his sisters. One morning after I had been told not to stay there, Juan and I woke up to a pound on the door. "JUAN!!!" Bang, bang, bang! "JUAN!! Open this door!" It was locked, of course, and I won't tell you whether we had clothes on or not...
Anyway, this tiny lady comes in and says, "I need to talk to you two. Sit down on the bed."
Uh oh, I'm in trouble now, I thought.
So she starts with the question, "What are you guys gonna do if you get pregnant?"
Juan and I both looked at each other with this 'did she just ask that' look.
"Huh?" I said.
After she repeated herself, I answered, "Well then we will have a baby."
Then she starts talking about how if we did, she would be the youngest grandma at Cellular 1.
"Ok, let's go to breakfast." She told us.
If that wasn't the weirdest conversation I EVER had with Sylvia, I don't know what was. We went to Kiss the Cook for breakfast. It was pretty good. I had never been there before.
Then it was time for Michelle's quince. I was the BIGGEST tom-boy there was and Sylvia was gonna make me wear a dress and get my nails done..."get my nails done?" What the hell does that mean? So over the course of a few weeks, she took me to this lady's house where she measured me and hand made a dress for me to wear. It was gold with a black lace top. I couldn't believe I had to wear a dress...
I can't remember if it was the day before or a few days before but I went to this place to "get my nails done." It was on 67th Ave and Thomas. I was getting ready to spend my last $20 on my nails. I wondered, what was I gonna do for groceries or gas for the next week? Oh well, I really wanted to make this woman like me. (Not knowing that she already did) And my parents would probably help me. So I walk up to the curb and I find a roll of money on the ground in the gutter. Holy crap! Are you kidding me?! I put it in my pocket and went about my business. You see, right next to this nail place is a bar notorious for it's drug deals... It was $470 rolled up. I guess I didn't have to worry about groceries or gas huh! AND I had my nails done all purty. Now I had to figure out how I was going to machine rotors or take car parts apart for customers at work with these things on...I was on my own with that one. Let's just say they didn't last too long.
Then the quince came. Juan told me his family would be there. I had NO idea what "family" meant until I met his family. This hall was packed floor to ceiling, wall to wall with mexicans. Ok I'm exaggerating but you get the point. I was prolly the only white girl there. Let me tell you, Sylvia knew how uncomfortable I was and not because I said anything about it. It was because she just knew. She asked me to help her in the kitchen and so I did for a little while. It made me feel better. She always made me feel welcome even if I ever wasn't. Over the next few years, I would grow to love all those people as my family too! They are sometimes even closer to me than my own family.
So as the next few years came and went, there were lots of troubles between Juan and I. Everytime, I would talk with Sylvia and she NEVER once told me it was all my fault or took Juan's side. That would be traditionally expected because that is her son and I am just an import. But, NOPE, Sylvia always listened to me, always made sure she understood both sides and then would say every time...without fail..."It's both of you. You want it to work, you both have to change." Every time.
And it helped that even when Juan and I were split up for some reason, his sisters would always invite me over anyway. Juan told me once just after I had met the family that once I was in, there was no getting out. I witnessed this first hand with Elsa and Mario. When they called it quits, we ended up going to Elsa's wedding to some other man. Proof positive.
Juan and I had children in the midst of all this stuff. One biologically and one adopted. Tallynna came into our lives on November 5, 2001. She was 13 months old. Joe and Sylvia LOVED her from first sight. And they accepted her like she was their granddaughter too! Over the years, I have seen this be the case for them with a few kids that aren't "blood." I think it's awesome and it takes a good person to do this. I remember a conversation I had with Sylvia around the time that CPS and the courts were deciding whether it was in Tallynna's best interest to live with me and Juan or send her to someone else's home. They asked me what other family she had and who else might me interested in taking care of her. I had talked with Sylvia about this before the appointment and she said to me, "Joe and I love her and if there is no other way to keep her in the family, we will take her." All I could think was WOW.
When Brianna was born, where was Sylvia? She was right there with my mom, holding my leg up so I could push that big ol' baby out. She was a little short for the height of the bed but let me tell you, I wouldn't want anyone else holding my legs up than my mom and my "mother" as I called her. Brianna was a big baby and Sylvia and Juan both said when she was born, "It's a girl! That's a girl?" She was just that big.
Every year, I wouldn't have to worry about buying them an Easter outfit or a Christmas dress cause she would make sure she got them for all the kids as the kid population grew.
Juanito was born and once again, there is Sylvia holding my leg up with my mom on the other side. When it was said, "It's a boy!" I think I am glad I still had the epidural cause she dropped my leg and ran out of the room to tell everyone. Actually, she yelled it at everyone! Now, just think, could she have had that reaction if we knew what we were having? Now you know why we don't find out...
Sylvia came to work at Cox not too long after Juanito was born. Everyone loved her. Are you surprised? HAHA!
About a year after she started working at Cox, we were both there and I got a call from Scott (the manager for her department at the time).
Scott: Hey Jen, you need to get to my office right away. Sylvia passed out and we called the paramedics.
Me: Ok, I'm on my way.
I got there just as the paramedics were getting there and they took her blood pressure, it was 201/190something. YIKES! That was all I could think of. "My gosh that could cause a stroke." She told me the room was spinning, she couldn't even tell them her information. Luckily I was there. We sat there for a little while and they checked her blood pressure again and it was still very high. So they took her out in the ambulance to John C Lincoln. I called Joe and Juan to tell them what was going on and that I would be there with her. I remember hearing that she had told her boss not to let them take off her pants because she hadn't shaved...LOL! After all the paramedics that worked that shift close to work were hotties! The later shift, we found out later on in this whole ordeal, were older and not so cute...
So this happened a few more times over the following months. She was diagnosed with Vertigo and was given medication for it that didn't work. So finally, I told her she needed to see a neurologist. I found one for her and went with her to the 1st appointment. He said she had Migraines. He explained why her blood pressure would raise up so high and all that. We trusted that. So he gave her some medication for that and it seemed to work for about a few days. Then back to the hospital we went. The doctor said it may take a while for the medication to kick in so she would still have the issue until it finally settled. It seemed pointless for her to even go to the ER because anytime she would say she has been diagnosed with Migraines, that was it. They didn't check for anything else. I repeatedly told her that I didn't think it was Migraines and that it was something in her head. Like a clot or aneurism or something like that. She agreed but how could she find it? She had 4 or 5 MRIs already and they found nothing.
On Saturdays that she was able to be at work, she would take me to lunch. She always told me that she felt bad because she does all these things for Michelle and Nichole and not a lot for me. It was as though I was her daughter too. It was nice to know that she felt that way about me. We would have the best talks on those Saturdays. It was just us. She had convinced me to even take Juan back after his last round of trouble and not because she wanted me to just take him back but because it was in his best interest and of course, she was right. He was headed down the wrong path because he was getting depressed. Plus I married him with the full intention to live up to the vows I took. I loved him then just as I do now.
Sylvia was always there for me and I was always there for her. I'm glad I got to know her as well as I did and I am happy that she raised Juan to be the great man he is. I miss her. I think about her every day and I just hope that I can have the impact on other peoples' lives that she did. I also pray that I can leave my life with all ends tied up the way she did too.
It's Mother's Day 2010 now and this blog has sat here LONG enough. It turned out to be some of my favorite memories of Sylvia...I have A LOT! What better day to post about my mother-in-law? I love you Sylvia!
